Nothing ever could separate us

chained

Romans 8: 38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

“Don’t get distracted by what other people say or even when you’re isolated with your own thoughts…the enemy will always try to trip you up or question your identity in Him. Just start free writing you will be surprise what comes out.” – My friend Tierra

I am my own worst critic. Is what I say to myself but that is FALSE! Satan is my worst critic but here I go again over-dramatizing my own opinion of myself. Somewhere down the line after many trials, I gained the innate ability to constantly doubt myself. I was one of those kids that thought the world was a stage. I had a sense of boldness and determination early on. So much so, that my mom took me to an audition when I was 7 years old to try out for the Cleveland School of the Arts. I vividly remember my audition like it was just yesterday. The prospective drama majors were told to read a small part from the Wizard of Oz. They gave us a script in advance with several different characters and we had to select only one character to recite. Well of course I memorized the entire script. During my audition, I recall seeing the judges face light up with joy as I ran over my lines. I immediately told them I could read more parts since I memorized it all so next thing I knew, people were coming into the audition room to see my act. I felt such a sense of purpose at the tender age of 7. I got accepted into the school and it was a wonderful experience. I learned so much. Fast forward a few years and now I am a theatre major competing with my peers for parts in plays. I am now getting critiqued on how I could have done things differently – smile more, smile less, work the room, stand still, become the character, be more modest. It was too much. It was no longer fun for me. I no longer enjoyed the process. However, those voices from my drama teacher and peers never left me. Instead, their voices became my own voice. I was able to critique any and everything I put energy into. Nothing I ever really did was good enough. People compliment my parenting skills, I brush it off. If I make a delectable dish and I get rave reviews, I brush it off. Even when writing this blog, I don’t really attempt to make it more public. I know all of this is because I can still hear the voices that now sound like my own. The voices that tell me that I shouldn’t even try to do more and I should just play the background where it’s easiest. However, God’s voice is becoming louder. He is showing me that I can find my identity in Him. I don’t have to stand in the background; I just have to stand in Him. He is my comfort, my strength, my help, my savior, my everything! When I get afraid, when I feel weak, He is there. For nothing can ever separate us! I am found in Him. The enemy doesn’t want me to rest in God’s promises so He will use anything to get to me, even my own voice. I am not that little girl on stage trying to entertain folks. I am now a woman, after God’s own heart, who is living to be obedient to her loving Father. The same Father that has provided gifts and talents that He doesn’t want to be hidden. I can take no pride in these gifts but I can use them to glorify my Father! How excellent is the name of God! If you are struggling today with this or a similar issue, know that you are not alone. You weren’t created to fade into the abyss but to glorify the Father in ALL your ways. God bless and stay encouraged. xoxo

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